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I was mostly Pisces water with a Gemini air rising sign. Water was the inner feeling me. The rising sign is how one appears to others. Externally I had a magnetic personality, although I did not give myself credit for such, which was completely opposite my inner self. I had never understood this. I would later come to define this dichotomy as ego and identity. The ego represented the true nature of my body and the identity the personality that is conditioned and created.
This character that had the power to believe anything would be identity. The contrarian
that gave sanity and constraint would be the ego and believer in the body, especially its health, and well-being. To believe without believing then would be a juggling act between identity and ego. It would be the task of the Ego to be the contrarian, moderating influence, to protect myself from the fantasies of the mind, and who would hopefully know the way back home. I remember the idea of leaving bread crumbs, to find my way out of the woods, the labyrinth of phantasmagorical fantasia I would create, although whether that took any kind of actual shape I do not recall.
In DC one late afternoon, walking down the street, I was explaining to Fredricks how one should not feel bad at things other people might say about one. Exactly then some people went by in a car yelling names at us. Never happened before or since. Very synchronistic. I then explained the concept which I was using in the form of questions. Ask a question and look for a corollary to be demonstrated in the experience of reality.
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