Invision

He met a woman who had ideas of being an actress I think, and after they got married they moved to LA. I visited them down there - hitch-hiked one ride to Hollywood and Vine. She expressed to me some sort of sexual problem concerning some incapacity. It was hard to determine exactly what it was since she was not explicit and using code, since these sorts of things in those days were not explicitly expressed. I interpreted the problem as a reluctance on his part to allow her to engage in oral sex. He was inordinately Christian.

Mayhew had always been a real sweet guy, but according to her, overly conscientious and took things like work entirely too seriously. He was a worry-wart. Apparently he was so conscientious that it killed him, because he died down there, maybe of a heart attack in '73 or '74. She wrote me a letter shortly thereafter expressing the wish to come and see me. She was a good looking blonde but I decided to pass on the proposal, knowing my weakness for possibly getting involved. I sort of wondered whether some sexual surprise might have killed him. Of course that sort of event could be a hell of burden for certain types of people.

The epiphanic experience produces exaggerated emotional states. If emotional intensity is directly related to degrees of importance and consequence one ascribes to any given subject, then the greater the importance, the greater the emotional intensity relative to the subject, as it is affected positively or negatively. What doesn't matter to one is not going to produce much emotional intensity. Politically awakened people often become emotionally intense because things that were not important become important, like starving children in remote places on the planet.

(13 of 98) Next Page