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If I used a prostitute, and could not myself be a prostitute, would it not be using her by difference ? take your choice. I have x number or reasons why she should perform sex for money, but I am above such, and not something that I would do. But we all perform something for money. It is the human condition. Who is one going to perform for ?

I could have been the prostitute in the window, in the guise of an artist's model, with all the blessings of the high eminence of art. They wanted my body because it was thin and everything boney, muscled and sinewy, which would be highlighted by the absence of fat, making me a skeletal study. There I would be naked in front of dozens of strangers, but how many of them legitimate artists? One way or another as a man, I one-day would know other men pretending to be artists, knowingly or not, so they could look at naked women. What does she think ? It certainly is an easy way to make money, as they paid quite well. Could be cold in these draftee high ceilinged arts studios, needing an electric heater to temper the goose bumps. Is she a prostitute ? She may be noble, an artist's model on the scale of da Vinci, but it is in the eye of the beholder - what am I for an eye ?

But I couldn't do it. Didn't give it much thought, as how much I needed to do that. I was always ashamed of my body. I was always skinny and small. God did not give equal portions of brain and body, as the cliche would have it. "and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself". I compared myself with God and failed in the apogee.

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