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It is too insane. But then I thought I would be crazy if I didn't do it. The possibilities of what I could learn would completely overwhelm the irrationality of it. So I decided I was going to try to get right back into it. I went and ate breakfast, smoked a joint didn't say anything to anybody and it lasted for a year, or maybe I just got tired of it.
The first question I suppose as I can almost remember it, was why I had never known the greatness of myself before ? And the answer was I remember distinctly, an East-Indian parable I had read. The prince is sequestered in the provinces as protection from enemies since his father is a very powerful man, and from the knowledge of the ramifications and responsibilities of ruling class, as such a consciousness would entail until such time as one is better prepared. So there were a lot questions on that Sunday afternoon.
Perhaps primarily it was the emotional impact of suddenly discovering oneself to be someone. The cultural paradigm conditioning is negative, nothing and nobody, alone, isolated and weak, living in a dumb un un-intelligent universe. So this was the complete opposite and I am someone, and great to boot. It had an incredible emotional impact erasing all the years of self-denial indoctrination. So the thing would and may have been, how to make it reasonable and logical m? How to believe and preserve it ?
I walked over to Precita Park very agitated. I became engaged in the problem of what was public/private property. My new thinking was that I being all - all was mine. It was comforting and gave me a vast sense of power, but I immediately realized the impracticality of it.
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