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I confessed-confession: I wanted. There was no want-not for me. Some are later than others. My Song Lake then-friend as said earlier, chose self-Want in the eighth grade or thereabouts. I said I had left it open. Truth is now recalling, I had already done the I-want thing. I was dishonest. Before puberty, I thought and was a not-want guy. I would never smoke. I would never drink. I would never-ever. I would be Straight-Arrow, an Indian warrior.

Well which is it going to be ? "You know" God said, "I watch them make that decision. It's early-on in grade-school for most. By the time they are of the second decade, they will have forgotten they ever decided various fates a vanishing-point. Nope. From now-on it's all exception - here-on-out. They become the beggarly relatives of Wantwhat and Whatwant."

A thing is true depending on the situation and circumstance. Situation is truth. Survival as the first-instinct is the foregone. And who survives. Well there was the problem for me. The Who_? I didn't like being a cave-man. How crude. How-not to be a caveman ? I need an exception here. I need an invite. What must be my prostration ? Prose, prosti, proselytize: a prosthetic arm and a leg ? I give up. I am unarmed.

I converted to Christian I-want, the Lutheran variety between sixth and seventh grades. I had already blown the I-want strumpet. It didn't take. But I got to make exceptions, that was the beauty of it. I could have my cake and eat it too. It was powerful medicine. Too big, too small, it all depended. I would do-depending. "That depends", was some period-piece, when I liked that phrase. Showcased a more complicated complexity. Depends that's the thing.

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