Invision

Make reality mean something. Give it worth. My worth could become the change I create. Not sure I was that concerned with my own worth although I must have been. If I had been worth nothing by the prevailing system, dust to dust, an evolutionary quirk, a progression out of the slime, by my epiphany - to become worth something out of the blue, was incredible exhilaration. This worth was simply a realization. I am worth what I produce was the prevailing system. Henry Ford produced cars. Carter produced pills. Have to produce money, was for most people the sign of success. I produced nothing so I was worth nothing. Well my mother loved me. I could be worth God, which was quite an offer, on condition that I denied myself, a trade-off I was never very keen on. God and I were opposites, God all perfect and me all imperfect. The epiphany had it that I was already perfect with some psychological defects that needed correcting. Not really my fault considering the world in which I lived.

A new consideration. What is already perfect worth? My worth probably became the changes I thought I could make as the power of - 'think it and it happened'. The proof was in the continuous correlations. The problem here is remembering any specific instances, since it was of some more than forty years ago. An example of the evidence I used was something like, I may have decided that I would no longer be a victim of the red menace scam. The Vietnam war was raging and I switched sides, not that I was ever for the war, but only that I saw war as eternal and was apathetic. I began to favor the reds and analyse their side of things. This was going against all the red scare propaganda, I had been indoctrinated for a lifetime. So I made a decision one day. I was going to give the reds a fair shake. The next day I saw a boy with a red shirt. On the back was printed my last name. Below that was the number ten. I took it as an analogous event and made an appropriate interpretation. The event means nothing unless a context proceeds it. The red shirt was my red proposition. My last name meant it was a symbol meant for me a ten.

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